Graham Butternuts

Graham Butternuts spent the first 13 years of his life serving in the Armenian military. Once his American parents, Sylvia and Duke, realized that he was missing, they retrieved him from his military campaign and forced Graham to attend public school. After leading a coup against the peanut butter banning principal, Ronald Tremain, Graham disappeared for several years.

At the age of 42, Graham Butternuts again made headlines with his destruction of Smiley Isle, a small island in the South Pacific that had been rumored to house the stolen asses of various American war heroes. Despite a lengthy trial with assless veteran Narnigan Wtaers as lead prosecutor, Graham Butternuts was acquitted on all

counts..

The last the world heard of Graham Butternuts when he planned to reveal the construction methods of holey Styrofoam and then fell from the scaffolding around the Washington Monument.